Monday, January 11, 2010

on guilt

As my kids left for school this a.m., I tried to kiss my oldest while scurrying to prevent the cat from escaping. It was a normal hectic school day. I got an fervent "OK!" from my son when I asked yet again for a kiss goodbye. I had not yet had my morning coca-cola, so my response was, "Someday you'll regret the way you talk to me." My guilt-ridden son immediately came back in the door for a proper send off.
Now, I ask, why did I say that? It was hardly the first time. Am I doing him (them) a service by pointing out that certain actions and words may hurt others' feelings? Or am I doing myself a service by guilting my children into doing what I want them to do? I think both sides have a valid argument.
I wish I could take back some things I have said to my parents. I also realize that my children are their own emotional little people. There must be a way to convey to them that there are certain behaviors that will, in fact, make them feel guilty after, but moreso a way to convey to them to learn early in life to think before you speak or act, as I did not this morning to my son. Now I feel guilty...
So in relieving his guilt, I added to mine.
Parenting is most confusing.